DEAD ASF

PRESTON 🐭

If only I wasn't drunk today... I would shout to the DJ...I'll shout at him and tell him play that song again....I want him to play a very sad song....I want him to give me the illusions of how Death feels like....

If I wasn't drunk today...I would show up to your Graveyard with flowers...I'm sorry roses are the kinds found in abundance....Or I'll just take them to my family orchard... Pluck a few apples...But I'll not take green apples...

If I wasn't drunk today...I had only one thing to do... I wanted to walk and when I stop...I wanted to drop dead...I wanted to walk till my legs hurt....I hope the pain in my legs will rub off the pain in my heart.....

I wanted to walk for long... I wanted to concentrate on the road...I hope it will destruct me from thinking of you...I want the whole world to take pictures of me... Pictures while they are symphatize with me... I want them to take pictures with tears in my eyes....

With my stomach empty...With my legs barefoot and maybe half clothed....Maybe the humiliation will be better than the weakest point in me...I want the whole world to use me as a moral example of "till death do us apart"... Let them call me insane...Those that think they know me to say I'm on drugs....Or maybe addicted....

I want to cry Infront of everyone ...I hope the ones reading my poems will notice the tears in my lines....I hope they will notice the spaces left by my pen while writing this....

If you were alive today....I would have called you... You know how much I loved your voice....But I'm scared apart from my drunk slurs I might cry.....I'm afraid you'll notice my heart is missing....or my voice isn't happy....

I could have come for you tonight....Take you where all lovers go...But where will i find you,I haven't healed yet... Apart from the floors of my bathroom....I think my next favorite spot is the kitchen counter....

If you were alive today...I would have texted you I love you... But now I'll only love you like others do... view and like your Posts ... And only wish you show up at my place....

Speaking of which...I want more drinks and a louder more painful sad songs....


Hurt_Surgeon🐾

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